writings. [part 1]

Guilt blanketed by justifiable anger and pain
Feelings of isolation
Yet im surrounded
Pushing it so far in the back of my mind
Hopelessly forcing it to hide behind all the other things
Not wanting to admit it
Not wanting to accept it
I forget it
But its only temporary,
Until the next time
And the next time
A never ending revolving door
Circulating no answers and only generating a
Repetition of questions
Followed by the same empty answers
Which again produce a multitude of unrequited questions
Brain teasing
Heart squeezing
Im hardly breathing
What the hell am I not seeing?
Or am I? Staring at it head on
Yet closing my eyes to it.
Uncertainty sets in.
Terrified to look and see what it might be
What it might say
And where it might lead.
Am I afraid that I already know the answer
And I hate it, even though I crave it.